Another day is done. Today we shared our Doodle assignments.

I have an apparent inability to surrender myself to mindless doodling. I have an apparent inability to surrender myself to anything, really. I like to be in control, or at least have a goal I'm trying to reach and have a general plan that is likely to produce an expected degree of success in whatever I attempt:

I'm in the middle of planning to move out of my current apartment and into a different one. It's only across the street, but because it hasn't actually happened yet, and I have a lot I have to do to make this move go as smoothly as possible, it's imposing itself as a huge stressor on my life right now.
I'm taking another class and this class as been most poorly planned. The work load is appropriate for an intro-level 16-week course, but since no tailoring has been done to the study plan as it's transferred to a 6-week course, the work load is daunting. I'm frustrated already and would rather not deal with it right now, but I don't have much of a choice in the matter.

I like to have a plan. I like to know what to expect, or a general range of what to expect. I like to be in control.

Indecisiveness is crippling and I hate it. "Going with the flow" is a most difficult concept for me to fold myself into.

I've experienced it once or twice, but needed pharmaceutical aid in reaching that point each time. I loved the creative works that resulted from those episodes. But I can't seem to let it go on a whim.

I shall endeavor to change that about myself.