So the movie get-together was fun!
We ordered pizza and watching most of the movie. The dvd player in that room is awful, so we switched to Youtube halfway through.
The movie itself was... interesting. I liked the story, but wanted less of the commentary.
The quantum physics stuff was neat to listen to it.
I lost interest in the movie, though, at the wedding scene. It was... weird.
Very weird.
Wednesday, August 6, 2014
I am...
Before, when I did the "Who am I and why am I here" assignment... I couldn't. In fact, I was a little bit angry and upset about it.
I don't know who I am. I don't know why am I here. I don't like that people expect me to know these things. I don't think I'll ever know who I am. That person changes every day.
Now, though, I think I might be able to give an answer, though it certainly isn't the kind of answer I would consider an answer.
I am a woman, a daughter, a granddaughter, a sister, a niece, a girlfriend, a friend.
I am 25 years old.
I am an accident.
I am a student.
I am an artist.
I am a bit of a gamer.
I am a geek.
I am hated.
I am loved.
I am my God's child.
I am.
I am all these things and I am above all these things.
I am here because of my parents.
I am here, at this school, to learn.
I am here because God put me here and led me here.
I am here because I want to be here.
I am here.
I don't know who I am. I don't know why am I here. I don't like that people expect me to know these things. I don't think I'll ever know who I am. That person changes every day.
Now, though, I think I might be able to give an answer, though it certainly isn't the kind of answer I would consider an answer.
I am a woman, a daughter, a granddaughter, a sister, a niece, a girlfriend, a friend.
I am 25 years old.
I am an accident.
I am a student.
I am an artist.
I am a bit of a gamer.
I am a geek.
I am hated.
I am loved.
I am my God's child.
I am.
I am all these things and I am above all these things.
I am here because of my parents.
I am here, at this school, to learn.
I am here because God put me here and led me here.
I am here because I want to be here.
I am here.
The book.
May I start by saying the altered book is a neat idea... and it would have been much nicer had this been a full 16-week semester.
Six weeks just wasn't enough time. Not when I've got other classes and a job to keep up with as well.
As it is... I ran out of time.
I didn't get to do what I wanted with the book and even with my compromises, I had to make more compromises.
Ultimately, I tore the pages out of the book and turned the covers into a simple little box, which I spray painted white. To me, the cover, the outside, that shouldn't be important. Not the most important. I don't want people to know what to expect of me when they see me, so a blank slate seemed a good place to start.
The plan was to burn the ashes of the book. However, the pages weren't regular paper and I didn't have the resources (or the time) to spend getting all those pages down to ashes. So instead, I went out and hunted for some dark, fine glitter that didn't cost an arm and a leg. I finally found some and used that to symbolize the ashes. The pages were the inside of the book. I hate some things about myself and many of things are on the inside. Burning them symbolizes my overcoming these perceived shortcomings. I put a orange paper crane in there, as a nod to the Phoenix who is reborn from the ashes.
There's half an egg shell in there to symbolize the Egg and the Eye.
I doodled on the side of the inner box for Polly Wolly Doodle All the Day.
There's an arrow with Z's on it under the egg for Sleep on It.
The paper crane Phoenix is me, for Who Are You and Why Are You Here?.
Some of the ashes I did manage to create from pages were sprinkled on top, for the 50 What Ifs...?.
There's a bit of the paper from the book with the word "Rule" on it, being gripped and broken by a crawdad claw (I collect and create jewelry from strange things).
I took another page from the book with an image graphic on it and made it look like an iPod with sound waves across the screen for Taste the Second of a Sound.
I found another page with the word "Absolute" on it and wrote "Failure" under that. I placed it under the Phoenix, for the FEAR assignment.
And for Bliss.... a video game controller cut from another page.
I wanted to do a lot of different things with the book... But for the sake of money and time, I couldn't. For these reasons, I'm not happy with how the book came out. But I know what limits to push and this wasn't one of them.
For this reason, I feel good about the result of this assignment.
On the notes of an "altar" to the self, I was and still am uncomfortable with the idea of describing it as such. It's against my religious views and my personal beliefs to hold myself in any high regard that would merit an "altar". I understand it was a clever play on words, but I felt it necessary to voice my discomforts.
Six weeks just wasn't enough time. Not when I've got other classes and a job to keep up with as well.
As it is... I ran out of time.
I didn't get to do what I wanted with the book and even with my compromises, I had to make more compromises.
Ultimately, I tore the pages out of the book and turned the covers into a simple little box, which I spray painted white. To me, the cover, the outside, that shouldn't be important. Not the most important. I don't want people to know what to expect of me when they see me, so a blank slate seemed a good place to start.
The plan was to burn the ashes of the book. However, the pages weren't regular paper and I didn't have the resources (or the time) to spend getting all those pages down to ashes. So instead, I went out and hunted for some dark, fine glitter that didn't cost an arm and a leg. I finally found some and used that to symbolize the ashes. The pages were the inside of the book. I hate some things about myself and many of things are on the inside. Burning them symbolizes my overcoming these perceived shortcomings. I put a orange paper crane in there, as a nod to the Phoenix who is reborn from the ashes.
There's half an egg shell in there to symbolize the Egg and the Eye.
I doodled on the side of the inner box for Polly Wolly Doodle All the Day.
There's an arrow with Z's on it under the egg for Sleep on It.
The paper crane Phoenix is me, for Who Are You and Why Are You Here?.
Some of the ashes I did manage to create from pages were sprinkled on top, for the 50 What Ifs...?.
There's a bit of the paper from the book with the word "Rule" on it, being gripped and broken by a crawdad claw (I collect and create jewelry from strange things).
I took another page from the book with an image graphic on it and made it look like an iPod with sound waves across the screen for Taste the Second of a Sound.
I found another page with the word "Absolute" on it and wrote "Failure" under that. I placed it under the Phoenix, for the FEAR assignment.
And for Bliss.... a video game controller cut from another page.
I wanted to do a lot of different things with the book... But for the sake of money and time, I couldn't. For these reasons, I'm not happy with how the book came out. But I know what limits to push and this wasn't one of them.
For this reason, I feel good about the result of this assignment.
On the notes of an "altar" to the self, I was and still am uncomfortable with the idea of describing it as such. It's against my religious views and my personal beliefs to hold myself in any high regard that would merit an "altar". I understand it was a clever play on words, but I felt it necessary to voice my discomforts.
- What is your opinion of combining technology and the human body as she did in the video?
- What is your opinion of combining a media arts and science project with your own body?
Bliss
I don't know if the cover of the book is really the most important thing.
"First impressions" and all that, sure. I understand that.
But for the book that is supposed to be the "altar" to the self... I know I'm not the prettiest thing out there. That's the surface of me.
I would hope, though, that after people spend some time with and get to know me, they see whatever beauty might lie within.
These were my thoughts before doing the bliss assignment and they still are my thoughts after doing the bliss assignment.
The bliss assignment, though, was nice. Spending time with the people I love is always a joy.
"First impressions" and all that, sure. I understand that.
But for the book that is supposed to be the "altar" to the self... I know I'm not the prettiest thing out there. That's the surface of me.
I would hope, though, that after people spend some time with and get to know me, they see whatever beauty might lie within.
These were my thoughts before doing the bliss assignment and they still are my thoughts after doing the bliss assignment.
The bliss assignment, though, was nice. Spending time with the people I love is always a joy.
Fear Pt 3
Everyone had such wonderful and thoughtful projects. I think the one that hit home the most for me was Spencer's project.
I am a rather insecure person (though most people who see just the surface don't believe that). I dislike myself and many aspects of myself greatly. I know this hinders me and my creativity, but it's very difficult to move past something that can be so crippling--like hating oneself.
Spencer had me put that into perspective by writing my insecurities down on a piece of paper and then symbolically destroying those hateful thoughts by shredding that paper and those written ideas.
I can draw a lot from Spencer's project (And it does remind me of my own project, since some of the insecurities I harbor stem from the fear of failure). It still resonates in my mind and, I think, it will for some time. Next time I'm feeling the urge to just trash whatever I'm working on, I hope I'll remember shredding that paper. I hope the memory will be enough for me work up the courage to stomp down my fears and let them chain me no longer.
For this freeing experience, I must thank you, Spencer.
I am a rather insecure person (though most people who see just the surface don't believe that). I dislike myself and many aspects of myself greatly. I know this hinders me and my creativity, but it's very difficult to move past something that can be so crippling--like hating oneself.
Spencer had me put that into perspective by writing my insecurities down on a piece of paper and then symbolically destroying those hateful thoughts by shredding that paper and those written ideas.
I can draw a lot from Spencer's project (And it does remind me of my own project, since some of the insecurities I harbor stem from the fear of failure). It still resonates in my mind and, I think, it will for some time. Next time I'm feeling the urge to just trash whatever I'm working on, I hope I'll remember shredding that paper. I hope the memory will be enough for me work up the courage to stomp down my fears and let them chain me no longer.
For this freeing experience, I must thank you, Spencer.
Monday, August 4, 2014
FEAR pt2
Conduct the Experiment -
My experiment was, well, simple.
I had a piece of poster board on which I'd written "FAILURE" and a few other words. "Failure" and these other words, all of which pertained to "failure" except for "bees", seems to be at the root of my fears. I'm afraid of letting people down, disappointing my peers, "not being good enough", not being accepted... and it all boils down to that one word.
So I rambled about this briefly to the class and then took the posterboard and laid it on the ground. On top of this, I set a collection of markers. I then invited everyone to write their own fears down on this poster--to let out those secret fears and to put my fears and their fears in perspective. We're all afraid of something, so why should we let it drag us down?
I predicted that a few people would do it, but I thought it might take a bit of time before people felt more comfortable to get down on the floor and draw or write on my poster.
I was wrong.
I was very surprised by the seeming eagerness of everyone. Nearly every person in the class surged forward at the same time and grabbed a spot on the poster. The couple of people who waited behind eventually joined once there was room for them.
Given the opportunity, I would love to see this expanded. Make it a mural and give everyone more time and more media to choose from to contribute to this. Afterwards, I would have liked to take a can of spray paint and paint the whole board white again--symbolically "cleaning" our fears from our minds and freeing us to be creative in our own way on a blank canvas.
My experiment was, well, simple.
I had a piece of poster board on which I'd written "FAILURE" and a few other words. "Failure" and these other words, all of which pertained to "failure" except for "bees", seems to be at the root of my fears. I'm afraid of letting people down, disappointing my peers, "not being good enough", not being accepted... and it all boils down to that one word.
So I rambled about this briefly to the class and then took the posterboard and laid it on the ground. On top of this, I set a collection of markers. I then invited everyone to write their own fears down on this poster--to let out those secret fears and to put my fears and their fears in perspective. We're all afraid of something, so why should we let it drag us down?
I predicted that a few people would do it, but I thought it might take a bit of time before people felt more comfortable to get down on the floor and draw or write on my poster.
I was wrong.
I was very surprised by the seeming eagerness of everyone. Nearly every person in the class surged forward at the same time and grabbed a spot on the poster. The couple of people who waited behind eventually joined once there was room for them.
Given the opportunity, I would love to see this expanded. Make it a mural and give everyone more time and more media to choose from to contribute to this. Afterwards, I would have liked to take a can of spray paint and paint the whole board white again--symbolically "cleaning" our fears from our minds and freeing us to be creative in our own way on a blank canvas.
Monday, July 28, 2014
Prediction
I think the response to my project will be generally "normal". By that, I simply mean that I don't think people will react strongly one way or another. I think most people will participate in it.
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